Lazy Larry

I must say, I learned a lot from my newest caller. His name was Lazy Larry, and he had a lot of problems. He explained to me that his ex-wife had broken up with him because of his lack of caring for her and their relationship. Now, Larry has no place to go and still confused on what he did wrong. He told me that he never cleaned up after his messes, and he never wanted to put effort into spending time with his wife. Larry’s ex-wife is now gone and Larry doesn’t know if he should chase her or not. Well, good thing I was there to mediate the situation. I told him to first, fix his laziness problem. A good husband must care for his wife and love being with her and doing things for her. Any woman could agree with me, MEN MUST WORK TO KEEP A GIRL HAPPY! Then, after his laziness has disappeared, he should follow her and ask for forgiveness. I mean, come on, what woman doesn’t like a little TLC? Well, another perfect solution to a pathetic life. I am the best love doctor there is.

Young Love

A little boy was making his way to the market as I was making my way to the perfume store. Our eyes caught and it was almost like he was calling out to me for some kind of desperate help. So I approached him as an effort to reach out to the youth. Although children are not always my favorite, this youngster looked like he needed dire help. He told me he was very fond of my calling service and wanted to ask me in person. He told me he was very fond of my calling service and wanted to ask about his girlfriend and how he could become closer. At first he was afraid to come right out and tell me his problem. But after beating around the bush for about 30 minutes he finally got his point across. It was apparent that this was either his first girlfriend or close to it. After close consideration to how he described the girl I was able to narrow her down into the more independent type of girl. These women enjoy their alone time and I told him to simply continue treating her with respect and maybe give her a little special attention every once in a while, and he would have her locked in. He called me the next day to proclaim his undying gratefulness. The best thing about this story was the fact that I was able to prove to at least myself that I was able to put loved souls together, and my methods would work not only on older people but have the same effects on young lovers.

The Triangle

Today I had a caller that gave me a headache. Basically Becka’s, the caller, problem was that she was involved in a love triangle. She was in love with one of her guy friends, Joey. The problem was that Joey used her as a confidant, and told her how much she was in love with her best friend, Lynn. So being the nice person she was, Becka asked Lynn how she felt about Joey. Lynn eventually decided that she did not like Joey, but not until after leading him on.
So Becka couldn’t decide if she should go after a guy who is pining after another girl, or if she should just give up and join a convent.

I immediately told her that under no circumstances should she join a convent. Then I pointed out that maybe Joey does in fact like her. It is possible that he actually has a crush on Becka but was too nervous, so he pretended to like Lynn. In any case, the worst that could happen is he’ll say no, and nothing is worse than a convent. Did you know that they make you take a vow of celibacy?!

Posers

Lately, I’ve been receiving fewer concerns than I normally get. It has come to my attention that another love doctor has begun offering love advice. Well, I did some research on her work, and her advice isn’t nearly as good as mine. As a matter of fact, I’ve found most of her advice to make relationships worse. For example, one man consulted her on his problem, and he ended up lonely. He had forgotten their anniversary for a third year in a row. My competitor suggested that he let her think about how stupid she was to complain about such a stupid thing. This advice was not very good, his wife ended up leaving him and moving to a different city. Now if he listened to me, I would have explained that he should apologize for forgetting their anniversary, and suggest he purchase her a gift. I’m quite sure he would be much happier with my advice. So, for all of you out there who think my work is fake, look at how this poser messed up and ended a marriage.

Fretting Friar

What a story I have for you today! I received a special caller; he is part of the Church. Our mystery man, named Fretting Friar, has quite a predicament. It seems that he was a single man for 35 years before he became a friar. He had a lot of trouble keeping the dates he had, and the dating scene had become more of a joke than anything. So, our frazzled Friar looked to the Church for answers, and he found his true or what he thought was his true calling. So here is where Fretting Friar’s problem came. One day he was walking outside the market square and he saw this lovely maiden, she came to him and asked him out for dinner. He thought it was just a friendly gesture so he agreed. Well, to his surprise, when he got there, she ended up telling him how much she loves him and kissed him. Now, the Friar, after 15 years in the monastery has a very difficult choice. I told our Fretting Friar to take the girl, because she will fulfill his life more than the Church or God ever will. Love always overpowers religious obligations. I learned that when I was with a Monk in London. He gave up his obligations to be obligated to me. Ah, another heart mended, I am the most superior love doctor around.